Let’s recap. Nelson DeMille blurbed my book, “Crashers.” The guy’s huge. Huge! If you Google the name Nelson, the word DeMille comes up before Mandella! The only guy who’s sold more books than Nelson DeMille is King James.
And while the blurb he gave me is great, fantastic, stunning, etc., let’s take a moment and read some of the blurbs from one of his book. Please open your hymnals to page 2 of “Plum Island.”
“This brilliant storyteller does it again, giving a terrific read…”
“A terrific tale…. DeMille is a first-rate writer….”
“Told with panache and a sardonic sense of humor….” (I had to look up panache; it is not, in fact, an Italian desert.)
“A rich tale you can’t put down….”
“A jaunty, high-spirited diversion…” (What the hell? Nelson DeMille just shared a blurb with Betty Comden and Adolph Green for “Auntie Mame.”)
“A thrill ride….” (That’s better.)
“One of the country’s best yarn spinners…”
By the way, this goes on for three freaking pages.
Nelson DeMille, ladies and gentlemen. I kid you not.