Speaking engagement…because I’m just that dumb
Oh my lord! What the hell was I thinking?
I agreed to be the “author” (air-quotes) for The City Club of Portland’s Citizens Read Book Group at 6 p.m. Monday, July 26, Gerding Theater at the Armory, 128 N.W. 11th Ave.
As a local journalist for 137 years, I wrote about a lot of the people who are in the City Club. I wrote thoughtful (snarky), well-crafted (judgmental) newspaper articles about these people. So, there’s a reasonable chance that some of them are going to remember me. Which means rotten fruit is not out of the question at this event. Neither are baseball bats.
These are the region’s shakers and movers. And now I am supposed to step in front of them as the air-quote author and speak.
Except, I know that the Citizens Read program primarily focuses on literature.
You know: As in “literature.”
And I wrote a fluffy, beach-friendly potboiler. Ivan Doig writes literature. What I write is more or less a comic book that forgot to get a cartoonist.
And I have to speak before the shakers and movers as the air-quote author. Who once wrote newspaper articles about the audience.
Yeah. This was a good plan.
If, later, you read that I got the crap beat out of me in the parking lot of the armory? For the record: I had it coming.